I have compiled a small list of the funniest names in the National Hockey League.
- Ron Tugnut
Is there anything else that needs to be said? He has two words in his last name that send chills through male sports fan’s balls. It almost sounds like a drink you could order at a martini bar. “Yes I’ll have a Ron Tugnut on the rocks with a twist”. Here you go you Ron.
- Valeri Zelepukin
This player’s name is completely fine aside from Valeri being sort of a girly name. Zelepukin begins fine. Zele reminds me of Zeal and strength and VIGOR! If we stopped there it would be terrific. Unfortunately the last 5 letters totally destroy any credibility this player may have built up in during his career.
- Urban Dictionary describes puke as:
“ever notice that when you eat sweetcorn, three years later its still there?
hey, i’m pukin and, oh look, sweetcorn!”
- Daren Puppa
The torment and humiliation this man went through from the time he was born is enough to make me not want to make him go through any more.
- Jeff Beukeboom
Jeff Beukeboom is just a sweet name. It sounds strong and like someone you don’t want to mess with and it describes him pretty well. Second all-time on the Rangers in penalty minutes, Beukeboom’s career was cut short from concussions. Just as an aside, Beukeboom won four Stanley Cups but I think his most cherished acheivement is his 1996 New York Rangers Crumb Bum award.
- Wacey Rabbit
Wacey Rabbit is just one of those cool sports names like Peekaboo Street or Coco Crisp. Either that or something Elmer Fudd might say.
- Jim Carey
Yes, Ace Ventura laced them up in 1996 for the Washington Capitals and beat out Dominek Hasek for the Vezina Trophy that year. That coming year he signed a four year contract worth 11 million dollars and then started struggling and played his way into obscurity. Never to be seen again. Jim Carey is known for his name but the bigger joke is him being the biggest disappearing act in NHL history.
- Milan Chalupa
I don’t know what team this man played for, what his stats were, his height or his weight and I don’t care. Chalupa.
- Harry Dick
I think this one pretty much explains itself. But lets see what Urban Dictionary has to say just for fun.
- Hairy:
Ravenous Robin Williams-like heroine use
“I’m gettin hairy tonight! you want in?”
- Yutaka Fukufuji
It is impossible for any broadcasters to say this man’s name without saying “Fuck You Fugi”. Simple pleasures I guess.
- Honorable Mentions
- Adam Foote
- Jeff Finger
- Zarli Zalapski
- Steve Junker
Feel free to add whatever names you think are funny to the list. I may have forgotten some obvious ones but these are the ones I could come up with on my shoestring budget.
